I'm sick of failures so awful we have to name them.

There's a laundry list of them, you know. From your "Homerun Throwbacks" to your "No Goals" and back again, there's a sickening, stench-filled sack of titles for our sports misery, and now the cupboard has become so bare that even Old Mother Hubbard's headed straight for sequel territory, and she still has to choose between two monumental repeats.

"Wide Right 2" or "The Monday Nighter 2."

If pressed, I'd choose the latter, because even though this one ended dreams and shattered hopes, it won't end with a crowded town square saluting the courage of a kicker who failed on the nation's biggest stage. No, this one's not even over, at least not until the audience tastes the leftovers with every bitter bite of what's sure to be a half-inspiring romp in Kansas City on Sunday.

The truth is, I'm left trying to find something left in my guts that isn't bruised from another series of kicks to the ribs. This is the recurring dream where I wake up and run my tongue over my teeth to make sure they didn't all fall out. Well, my abdomen hurts, I can't really chew and I feel like running my cheeks over a belt-sander.

I'd say, "This is Buffalo sports," but it isn't. It's truly much worse than a title.

Onto the game (in brief, I promise)...

-- Trent Edwards' massive failures hurt even more because the offensive line was borderline heroic, at least relative to their play in Weeks Two through Ten. You can have your Rian Lindell miss, and your three-consecutive running plays leading up to said miss, but Edwards made two throws all evening in an otherwise miserable performance.

How bad was he? Besides the three interceptions in the first 11-and-a-half minutes? Well, he played scared, which is the worst kind of quarterbacking to play, or watch. Edwards was so gunshy that of his 16 completions, 10 went to his feature back, Marshawn Lynch, and I'm not sure more than three were clearly past the line of scrimmage.

His No. 1 wideout, Lee Evans, was open almost all evening. He didn't find him once. Not once.

He was throwing against a defense that was giving up more than 225 yards-per-game, and came up with 148.

His quarterback rating, if you're into this, is 19th amongst starters.

Only six passers have more interceptions than Edwards, and of them, only J.T. O'Sullivan has thrown as few as the Bills starter's eight touchdowns.

In his last four games, he is 74-of-119 for 784 yards, with three touchdowns and eight interceptions.

He was wildly inaccurate, even in his completions. Looked a lot like J.P. Losman.

Just brutal stuff. No injury excuse. No scapegoat offensive line. Just this man wearing No. 5.

-- Marshawn Lynch was, surprisingly, a monster with all the blocking. Twenty-three runs for 119 yards from the man with the "Beast Mode," who also hauled in 10 passes for 58 yards. His touchdown was a thing of beauty, as was his season-long 28-yard run. He was magnificient.

-- Speaking of running games, I heard folks dogging the Bills defense because of Jerome Harrison's 72-yard touchdown run, but that's ill-advised. It would've been a big run in any event, but Terrence McGee was being held like a newborn by Braylon Edwards, right in front of the official. Jamal Lewis was held largely in check.

-- Kawika Mitchell made some nice plays. He also made a really dumb one. You know what the best part about personal fouls made three yards out-of-bounds is? Nothing. He's a veteran who's won a Super Bowl, remember?

(***Edit note: I was at the game, and I've received several emails telling me the hit was in bounds. It definitely didn't look that way on the field, and they didn't show a replay. Speaking of which, they did a great job of "slow-mo-ing" questionable calls on the scoreboard. Great work).

-- Lindell's been so good for so long that it's hard for me to ... sorry, my brain just exploded.

-- The box score accurately states that Terrence McGee defended six passes. Six passes. Even though he was still too far off his receivers on several plays, it was a very good performance, particularly on the last break-up to Braylon Edwards before Phil Dawson, well, you know.

-- Marcus Stroud was dynamite.

-- Clearly, this was the best game of Leodis McKelvin's career. Don't look now, but he's third in the league in yards-per-kick-return (29.0), and first in total kick return yards (1,073). No one in the league has more than his one kick return touchdown. The dropped interception wasn't fun, but it was at least a tough a catch as Ko Simpson's dropped pick.

Stat line I enjoyed:
Lynch, 23 carries, 119 yards; 10 receptions, 58 yards, TD
-- Marshawn and his line were very good, and he also made several terrific blitz pick-ups. He's coming into his own, and it's been hard to notice because of his teammates.

Stat line I didn't enjoy:
Lee Evans, 0 catches
-- I'm not even sure Trent Edwards threw at him multiple times, and from field level, you could tell Evans was open. Often.

(Bills) Game ball:
Lynch, with a nod toward Stroud and Brad Butler, who was clearly playing hurt.

Lastly...
It's sickening. I'm not sure what else to say. The emotional cupboard is bare.

Next week:
Kansas City has the second-worst rush defense in the league, so good news for Turk Schonert: you don't have to throw. The Chiefs are allowing 165.4 yards on the ground per game. They've also only sacked opposing quarterbacks a league-low six times, five less than second-worst Cincinnati. The Chiefs' offense is also terrible, and despite the Bills morale, it's unlikely Buffalo will lose. Bills 24, Chiefs 23.

Finally...

I was convinced it would be good. I guess I should've known better?

Maybe "The Nightmare on Abbott Road?"

Email: nick@wgr550.com