Dear Bill Murray,

I've had this idea in my head for a long time, but needed a day when my boss wouldn't fire me for writing it. In no fiendishly-stalkative way, I'd like to take you golfing.

It occurs to me every time you pop up in a movie or Cubs game: the notion that you just seem like a guy I'd get along with on a golf course. I'm a remarkably mediocre-at-best golfer -- you will be inclined to remark, "Nick, you a mediocre-at-best golfer,".

I don't make a lot of money, Bill, so it'd have to be a cheaper course around here or free wherever you'd like me to come. I don't carry a 3-iron. It felt like the right-time to mention that.

We could even impose a fine system -- I promise not to make ridiculous "Caddyshack" comments, or even really ask you about your career (although we would probably talk about the Cubs. I have the Extra Innings package, and I'm sure my wife would make you a grilled cheese if you'd like). I just genuinely think you would get along with a short, bearded, terrible-golfing 27-year old fellow like myself.

This may read awkward, but I've had a lot of awkward-reading ideas that've turned out great for me:

-- Video cassette recording "The Twilight Zone" marathons while I was in high school.

-- A 10-mile run that include two miles in a graveyard in the middle of the night.

-- Going to an open try-out for the Atlanta Braves where they even let me do two of the three try-out drills (Throw from right field to third base, and run really fast to first base. My friend Brandon Tiedeman got to hit. He's taller than me).

I also like monks, soccer, three-piece suits and Charles Dickens (not that Charles Dickens. I'm talking about the author).

Please respond, acceptance or regrets,

Nicholas J. Mendola
nick@wgr550.com