On Sportstalk Saturday, myself and producer Dan Cave stumbled upon a topic of interest. While taking callers on our beloved Buffalo Bills, we discovered that our area needs to come up with a global chart of bad. For example, if you call in a post-game show and say, "They were just awful today," we want to make sure the team was actually awful.

We set our extremes at pretty bad (least amount of bad) all the way to atrocious (as bad as things can get, i.e. the "worst").

Callers and more contributed to this ultimate list:

Pretty Bad
Bad
Insignificant
Very Bad
Lousy
Poor
Awful
Terrible
Pathetic/Laughable
Unacceptable
Horrible
Garbage
Unwatchable
God-awful
Appalling
Atrocious

Email: nick@wgr550.com

A lot of things change in 23 months. In that time, I've been married, bought a house and adopted a dog with my wonderful wife. My beloved UB Bulls football team has leapt into prominence under Turner Gill. We watched some huge auto companies crumble, kept an eye out for change on the waterfront and elected a new president.

We also lived through the life of a child in its entirety.

By now, you've read, heard or watched the story of toddler Izaiah White, the Buffalo boy who suffered an allergic reaction to medicine, was rushed to the hospital by his father and given more time on Earth by local police officers who revived him. Those extra days allowed his family to give him a second birthday party, and a few more days with their beloved son before he died early May 17.

Despite the sad nature of the story, it's fair for you to be wondering how this made its way into a normally-sports-based column. In Gene Warner's wonderful account of Izaiah's life in the May 21 edition of The Buffalo News, it details some of the things the 23-month old loved to do. He watched "Spongebob," chased his sister and danced to the goofy "Let's Go Bills" rap we play -- and I write -- on The Howard Simon Show.

Early on the morning of May 21, my boss Andy called and told me to read the whole story. It was already one of those mornings where I wonder what in the world I was doing awake at 5 a.m. We all have them, regardless of how much we love our jobs -- it's a very human condition.

Well, the story of Izaiah was a tough one to read, and when I flipped to the second page to see that this little kid loved something I did, I was stunned. I can tell you it brought me to tears several times in the next few hours and days. I emailed Gene, and he told me that Izaiah's father, Chauncey, is a big listener of our station. He even asked Gene to "say hello to Sully."

I'm going to try to get in touch with Chauncey and the White family, but I'm not sure exactly what to say, other than one article in a newspaper about their son's brief-but-brilliant life touched me in a way precious few others do.

Growing up, many of our fathers and mothers taught us to do everything well, because you never know who's watching -- or listening. It carries the tone that "someone may be out there who can help you improve." Well, chalk another one up for parents. Something I've done 16 or 17 times a year about the football team I grew up watching and now cover had a cute little kid dancing around his living room, putting another of a million smiles on his parents' faces.

Thanks for reading all of this. It's been a big deal for me since it happened, and will continue to live in my mind. There have been several moments in the last few weeks where I've been motivated to give the extra effort that is usually so easy to leave behind. If Izaiah's was able to make such a stunning impression on me, I wonder what indelible images he left on those who were around him on a daily basis.

So, understand that I'm not trying to grandstand when I say that I'll be praying for the White family, and believing Izaiah is doing just fine where he is now.

And next time I'm complaining about something inane, frustrated by a double-shift, or just not being the person I want to be, please remind me of Izaiah. I promise I'll leave everything I have "on the floor."

Read Gene Warner's account of Izaiah's last days here.

Email: nick@wgr550.com

PROBLOGUE: Madonna being in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is the worst. I have no proof, but the fact that Chuck Day, who wrote the guitar riff for "Secret Agent Man," died on the day her election was announced has to mean something. You know who else died that day? Kurt Eberling, Sr. -- the inventor of the Spaghetti-O.

"You see, it's spaghetti, just in the shape of an 'O.' Whaddya think?"

Some of you may know that I am heavily and mentally invested in "rock and roll" music, and so it was with a mix of intrigue and trepidation that I tuned into Mike Schopp and The Bulldog's discussion of who would belong on the Mount Rushmore of Rock.

As a caller pointed out, to me there's a difference between "rock" and "rock and roll," (I've told you I'm a nerd), but I felt inclined to participate via this space. The whole thing is even more self-indulgent than you think, especially when you learn who I picked and how it matches up to the "Three-to-sevenners" (I'm running out of ways to say their name).

A lot of the reader comments on the afternoon show's page feel false to me in that they seem to be personal Mount Rushmores of Rock, not who "belongs" on this list. If I built a personal one in my backyard, which I may do, it would have Bruce Springsteen, Johnny Cash, Elliott Smith and Smokey Robinson. Why? Because it's my backyard.

Yet Schopp and The Bulldog did a good job of catching the spirit of the thing, even if I disagree with the end result. Keith Richards and John Lennon wouldn't come near my list. I'd put Richards before Lennon, actually, as his friendship with Gram Parsons really helped shape what would later become Whiskeytown, Uncle Tupelo, and their offspring (Ryan Adams, Son Volt, Wilco).

I think you'd need to pick four categories that should be represented -- songwriter/storyteller, frontman, guitar "god" and a miscellaneous category including instrumental revolutionaries, rebels, performers and true rhythm and blues (Outta here, K-Ci and JoJo).

Before the "finalists," a caveat -- As a "McCartney guy," I am going to eliminate all The Beatles right away. As a group, they would unquestionably make it, but to pick one is unjust.

Here's who I would consider**:

Songwriter/storyteller -- Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, Waylon Jennings, Buddy Holly, Bruce Springsteen

Springsteen is eliminated right off the bat because I don't think he would've existed without Dylan, Cash and Motown. Jennings goes away because he's definitely my music nerd choice, and Holly is gone because I think he's a notch below Dylan and Cash. Cash would be my personal choice, but Dylan is unquestionably the picture next to the definition of singer/songwriter. When I started typing this out, Cash was going to win this spot. Whoops. Integrity.

Actually, this wasn't a symbolic gesture by Dylan. The photo was snapped during the infamous "Dylan Throat Heist" performed by the nefarious Joan Baez.

Frontman/performer - Elvis Presley, Mick Jagger, Jim Morrison, David Bowie

Peace out, Jim Morrison. I bought The Doors' "Greatest Hits" early in high school, fell in love with some of the songs, and then two things happened in the early part of this decade.

One -- My best friend Bob Kiekbusch bought one of his spoken word poetry albums, and it remains one of the worst things to happen to recorded performance.

Two -- Local radio murdered The Doors by thinking everyone wanted to hear "Roadhouse Blues" at the top and bottom of every hour.

Bowie loses because of "Labyrinth," even though I know we all make mistakes and Jennifer Connolly is real good-looking. So, it's Jagger or Elvis. Maybe Mick's a victim of when he was born, but Elvis is Elvis.

His face belongs on my fake rock.

Guitar "god" -- Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Page, Eric Clapton, Pete Townshend, Chuck Berry, Joe Strummer, Angus Young

I'm not a guitar player -- believe me, I've tried -- so I feel least confident in making this selection. I can tell you that Page and Townshend are my favorites, but I can also tell you that when my cousin Jim first showed me rock and roll, he showed me Hendrix, and I don't even think he was that huge a fan. It was just something anyone in music needed to hear. With apologies to the rest, he also wins the "Whose face is more recognizable?" test.

R&B, Other -- James Brown, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Sam Cooke, Otis Redding

Stevie Wonder is still alive, and for some reason that is making me knock him off the list, even if "Fingertips" and "Uptight" are the highlights of the Motown boxed set. Otis Redding and Sam Cooke are less pivotal than the other two, which leaves Charles and Brown against each other, and the face test isn't conclusive.

Charles has more songs on the list of my all-time favorites, but Brown wins, if only for what I read in this book:

Great opening few chapters (Haven't read the whole thing yet).

**It is hurting me on the inside to not have included the following names who were so important to my formative musical years: Neil Young, The Band (Levon Helm), The Temptations, The Tragically Hip, Beastie Boys and Pearl Jam.

I can't believe I'm going to be flip, and wing a quick "Genre Halls of Fame" in this space, but hey, it'll be the first four I think off. I feel quite willing to edit these at any time:

Mount Rushmore of Hip-Hop: Grandmaster Flash, Chuck D., Tupac Shakur, Deborah Harry, Jay-Z
Mount Rushmore of Hardcore/Punk: Henry Rollins, Ian MacKaye, Sid Vicious, Joey Ramone
Mount Rushmore of Metal: Lemme, Jimmy Page, James Hetfield, Angus Young

Email: nick@wgr550.com

PROBLOGUE: However you felt about the Season Five finale of "Lost," perhaps we can start a discussion with our new comment feature at bottom.

I hate the phrase "spoiler alert" more than anything because it's allowed ESPN and Yahoo! to use it as a headline whenever any sort of underdog wins anything, so if you're a fan of "Lost," and don't want to know about the season finale, you should be turning away...

right...

about...

now.

First, and I have to get into this here, because I read all the comments that we're not allowed to type about anything that isn't sports-related -- Matthew Fox played a coach in "We Are Marshall."

With that out of the way, I can compare my feelings on the season finale of "Lost" to the way the 2005-06 Sabres offseason went down -- I'm not sure what just happened, but they've earned my trust. The extra good news about this rationale is that "Lost" only has one year to make my head explode, but on a relative scale, I guess I could be in trouble. Here's a hard-to-read chart a scientist gave me (EDIT NOTE: If your browser is making this graph remarkably small, email me and I'll pass along a larger version).


Like anyone, I have my theories on the finale and the plot, but I feel like I have to trust the show knows what it's doing, based on what it's given me in the past, specifically this season (Much like the Gratton-for-Briere and Warrener/Reinprecht-for-Drury/Begin trades earned Darcy Regier a nice shelf-life in my trust barn).

I can see how anyone would love or hate the season finale, so here's where we can all agree:

Positive:

On one, pretty-positive hand, the Season Five finale of "Lost" supplied genuine emotive moments and long-awaited "answers." When Juliet is holding onto Sawyer while being electro-magnetically pulled toward certain doom, it is genuine and intense, and pretty-good acting (Anyone who believes Sawyer and Kate's interactions are believable probably would go to a 'Bad Acting Hall of Fame,' and buy every souvenir there).

What the show has done, is allowed almost every single character to be hated, loved or sympathized with for at least, let's say, 10 minutes of five seasons. For example, if you're a fan of:

Jack -- you loved him, McNulty-style, right off the bat as a probable hero without the gumption to get the girl, but for almost two years have had moments where you want to slap him with a giant Foo Fighter hand from the "Everlong" video.

Kate -- kinda stinks. She went from adorable felon to scared little girl. The only reason I care if she's alive is because Jack's interminable suffering has to extend back into the real world.

Sawyer -- has been annoying for almost the entire run, but all of the sudden is an "everyman" hero. He's probably supplied the best acting/character development of anyone.

It goes on this way from the rest of the major characters right on down to Jacob, who we've really only seen for one episode (Here's where the Sci-fi nerds say, "Well, technically, uh, Nick, it was two episodes. One from 9 to 10 p.m., and another from 10:00:01 p.m. to 11:00 p.m.... Minus, of course, the commercials,").

Negative:

On the other, very-negative hand, it's like "Lost" jumped past the "We're a young team"-player-excuse suffering to the "Injuries, not effort, hurt us"-player-excuse suffering. If you want to hate the "Juliet makes the bomb explode/Jacob's on fire" ending, you can argue -- perhaps successfully -- that the show essentially spent five-years developing the major characters of the show. You might even say that they didn't figure out anything about the show's ending until this year... if they even know at all. It's what movies are derided for... making you watch 90 minutes and then introducing who's really pulling the strings, as if "you're not intelligent enough for us to introduce this character earlier."

Seriously, "Lost" has an opportunity to pull a "Prison Break" here, and that's not a good thing. Granted "Prison Break" was only a great television show for, what, 30 percent of its run? At most?

Miscellaneous:

-- In college, I was able to avoid the modern demon that is primetime television. I pretty much only watched sports and re-runs of "The Twilight Zone." Since then, I have at some point been "involved" with the following piles of brain destruction:

1. "Lost"
2. "Prison Break"
3. the most-recent season of "The Biggest Loser"
4. "The Office"
5. "30 Rock"
6. "Sons of Anarchy"
7. "The Wire"
8. "Scrubs"
9. "Gary Unmarried"
10. "Tool Academy"

-- 1977 Eloise Hawking is very attractive.

-- The actor who plays Jacob was also in "Prison Break" for a couple episodes. Yikes. I also couldn't stop thinking that he looks like Landry Clarke (Jesse Plemons) from the TV version of "Friday Night Lights."

-- A high-school friend of mine works in Hollywood, and has worked on "Lost."

Email: nick@wgr550.com

(WGR 550) -- Thursday morning, Howard Simon and Jeremy White have been discussing with callers what they would "Spring Clean" from sports. Well, I've got some things to say about that.

Here are my new ideas:

-- First: the easiest. No more BCS, unless you want to turn the BCS into a seven-bowl, eight-team playoff. I know there will be arguments against who the eighth and ninth teams will be, but it's better than Utah, Boise State or any other undefeated school complaining. Plus, as much as I'd love an upset, seeing some formerly-whining underdog get smoked by a two-loss SEC team would be funny. How has Gonzaga fared in March Madness since they started getting their No. 5 seeds?

-- Way less time-outs. Jeremy brought it up, and I love it. Here's how it would work for each major sport:

Basketball: one-per-quarter. Anyone who's seen a team on a run knows that time-outs matter in hoops.

Football: no more time-outs. To keep the challenge system alive, 10-yard penalty for lost challenge.

Baseball: no more mound visits for coaches or non-catchers unless it's a pitching change.

Hockey: system's fine, but if you change goalies in-period, that's your time-out.

-- No more Personal Seat Licenses.

This conversation didn't exist a few years ago.

"Hey, I'd like two season tickets for the Yankees."

"Well, fill out this application... and give me $2,500."

"Cool, here ya go."

"Now, as for the tickets... they start at $100 per game..."

-- All player money is guaranteed. Some sports do it now, but Antoine Winfield might be a Bill still if not for fake money, and then maybe the Bills don't draft 1,000 defensive backs. As a concession, the players eliminate signing bonuses.

-- Quarterbacks and goaltenders are fair game once they leave the pocket or crease, respectively. It works for lacrosse.

-- New repercussion to icing. As in basketball, the non-offending team can "set up" in the offensive zone.

-- No more easy-to-remember division names. Here's how we'd do it in the four major sports:

NFL: Rozelle, Blanda, Montana, Butkus, Payton (or Sweetness) and Nagurski division ("We've won the Butkus!").

NBA: Chamberlain, Erving, Jordan, Bird, Gervin, Maravich, Russell

NHL: Howe, Orr, Plante, Mikita, Gretzky, Lemieux

MLB: Ruth, Mays, Paige, Aaron, Ripken, Gibson

-- Relegation. In the top division of English soccer, the worst three teams are demoted to the second division, while the top three teams from the second division get promoted. Imagine the New York Rangers fighting to stay in the NHL in the last week of the season as the Manitoba Moose are pouring champagne on each other to celebrate their province's first upcoming NHL season since the Winnipeg Jets left town.

-- Just one belt, and less weight classes in boxing. Please.

-- For baseball, basketball and hockey: a Champions League. This would require shorter seasons, but the idea of the six best NHL teams with the four best Russian teams, and two a piece from Sweden, Finland, etc., playing in season would be fantastic.

Imagine: the Sabres have a Saturday game at home in November, then travel to Gothenburg to take on Frolunda HC for a Champions League quarterfinal. Frolunda returns the favor the next month. A true "World Champion."

Better yet... The Red Sox against Japan's best, or Greece's Olympiakos against the Lakers.

-- FANS cannot complain about: facial hair, tattoos, how a player wears his uniform, hairstyles, et. all.

So you're allowed to do what's on the left and do your job, but he's worse at basketball because his wife and kids' names are on his arm?

Does it change the way they play the game? No. Remember the "J.P. Losman stinks cause his hair gets in his eyes?" Goodness gracious, maybe he just stunk. Anyone? I've seen some of the worst tattoos ever while covering sports on some of the most-talented players.

--- I'll add more, throughout the day, but our new comment function allows you to add your ideas below, or email: nick@wgr550.com

--- I thought Ricky Hatton was dead.

No hyperbole, and not to touch on a locally-sensitive subject, but Manny Pacquiao's knock-out of his British opponent was like Kevin Everett's injury all over again. I turned to Bulldog, Corey Griswold, and the other assembled in North Buffalo and asked the question on everyone's mind.

"Is he dead?"

Try as I might, I can't get into MMA -- I've decided that the ground game just isn't for me -- but Saturday night scared me. In his book of short stories, Thom Jones wrote of a prison boxer with "dynamite hands." I'm afraid that modern strength training and its advances are going to present me with a death in the ring if boxing ever regains its form, and what's to be said for that statement.

The fight was quick, and near-lethal, and I loved it. I think I'll always appreciate boxing, even just complaining about bad bouts, but something about that makes me a little sick to my stomach. In this space, I often talk about how professional athletics used to be gladiators... which of our present sports fit that bill?

---

I didn't see the Kentucky Derby live, but I'll tell you one thing -- when your buddy goes to the race and you tell him to put two bucks on the longest-shot, and a 50-to-1 horse wins.... and it isn't your long shot.... You get pretty bummed out.

So, to Atomic Rain, and jockey Joe Bravo: None of your surname for you from me.

To round off this topic, and be a corny animal lover, here's Mine That Bird, the beautiful horse who won the Derby and may not run in the Preakness Stakes.


If in fact Mine That Bird doesn't run in the Preakness, the race will lose almost all sexiness --- horse racing lives for a Triple Crown winner. You get the feeling that trainer Bennie Woolley, Jr., is just playing mind games (that works with horses), but if not, it will be a remarkable statement about the value of a healthy horse. There's also a chance, being a long-shot winner and all, that he wants to keep the stud fee high. Let's not make this completely philanthropic.

---

They (the sea horses) say defense wins championships, and if that's true, the winner of the Ducks/Red Wings series will win the Cup. It's easy to see Detroit's defense is phenomenal, but the Ducks made a shrewd trade that benefitted both teams near the deadline.

Knowing they had a surplus of forwards, Anaheim sent Chris Kunitz to Pittsburgh for then-struggling defenseman Ryan Whitney. It made sense for both teams, but Ducks GM Bob Murray showed precious little fear of upsetting Brian Burke's former championship roster by dealing a young gun like Kunitz.

Whitney was miserable at the time of the deal, and having a heck of a time getting over an injury on a Pittsburgh team that needed a shake-up. The former No. 5 overall pick was blooming as a Penguin before the injury, and has was in the second year of a six-year, $24 million deal. It's back-loaded salary wise, but the cap hit will be $4 million regardless.

If Whitney doesn't regain his form, but continues to be what he's been in Anaheim -- a point-every-two-games defender at about an even plus/minus, then Anaheim is slightly over-paying, by professional athletic standards, a defenseman. If he finds his old form after a restful offseason, the trade is brilliant.

As for the Penguins end, whether they win against the Capitals or not, they gained a Cup-winner who's been a solid 20-goal, 30-assist performer for, arguably, four years. The 29-year old is still in the first of a four-year deal carrying a cap hit of $3.725 million. He'll also fight a couple times of year when necessary, which could save Sidney Crosby the misfortune of doing something WWE-worthy to gain an edge.

---

The NBA playoffs keep moving, and while my heart is thankful the Celtics/Bulls series is over -- Go Celts -- my mind wonders if anything short of Lebron/Kobe can come close to the level of excitement.

He may be a ham, but (insert poor swine flu comment here).

Working without Kevin Garnett and Leon Powe, the Celtics were forced to play small ball with the Bulls, and the results were enthralling. I couldn't stop texting anyone who gave a crap about basketball and might be awake watching to try and get them back in the door.

Beginning Monday night, with Game One between Orlando and Boston, we'll find out an awful lot about young Magic star Dwight Howard. If he is the game's best big man, he should have a field day with the depleted Celtics, and take the series in five or six, drawing too many smallish bodies and dishing to Rashard Lewis when he can't drive. I just have a feeling that Paul Pierce is going to continue to assert himself with Garnett, and Ray Allen found his playoff stroke this year, as opposed to last year's title season, when he had nothing.

---

Carlos Zambrano may have put a hiccup in an already-slow-starting Cubs campaign by dropping a surprise bunt to lead off the fifth and pulling hammy beating it out, but it only cements him as one of my all-time favorite baseball players.

---

As you may have heard me say on Sportstalk Saturday, my first view of Aaron Maybin in person was impressive. It's nowhere-near-unusual for the top pick to look great among a bunch of undrafted rookies and second-year practice squad guys, but Maybin is head-jerking-quick, and has one of those, "How did God do that?" builds. Let's just say he has the athleticism, but we'll see whether last year was an aberration within the next three years (notice I didn't type "first three preseason snaps,").

---

In case you were wondering, my Newcastle United boys took another step toward relegation with a 3-0 loss at Liverpool. With three games remaining they need to catch Hull City, who sit three points ahead of them. Short of Hull going 0-3, it'll take points at home against Middlesborough (likely three), a home win against Fulham (hopefully one) and a road win at Aston Villa (unlikely any). They'd have to hope Villa has nothing European to play for to be sure.

Hull is away to Aston Villa today (no points), home to Stoke (one to three), away to Bolton (one to three) and home to Manchester United (zero if Man Utd. needs it).

There's also an outside chance at catching huge rivals Sunderland, who are four ahead, and finish at Bolton, at Portsmouth and home to Chelsea.

---

I don't know nearly enough about Jack Kemp to give him his Buffalo due, but what I do know is that he was a class act in an often classless political world. I remember talking to Bills offensive lineman Brad Butler about his internship with Kemp's office, and if it says anything about the man, he was a true gentleman.


Growing up, and hearing my father and uncles talk about Jack Kemp, his name held a certain reverence. I never had any doubt whether he was a legend, and I'm not sure I've ever heard a negative thing about him.

Rest in peace.

Email: nick@wgr550.com