Saturday, August 29, 2009
Preseason Immediate Reactions: Pittsburgh 17, Buffalo 0
12:19 PM | 
Posted by
Nick Mendola
It's the preseason, so I feel like I can get an Immediate Reactions under my belt before the game is completed, right? Again, it's just the preseason, but they are playing football against actual football players, so there are some things worth noting. If you want to note some even more immediate reactions, check out my in-game posts at Twitter.com/NicholasMendola
-- Before we really start, how about a moment of applause of Ryan Fitzpatrick, who inched the Bills offense over 100 total yards, all the way to 135. Great job!
-- Regardless of how you feel about the no-huddle, it's a no-win situation when the offense is doing nothing. I feel like we're watching the London Fletcher-led Bills, where third downs were an obstacle, but not as much of a roadblock as the offense continuing to put them back on the field with three-and-out after three-and-out.
-- It's football's "chicken or egg" -- who is more responsible for an offense's success, the line or the quarterback? You could make an intriguing case for the latter based on the last couple weeks, and maybe even years. Last year the Bills ran for 16 TDs, while passing for just 14. Their passing yardage per game was 20th in the NFL; the rushing, 14th. It is just the preseason, but if your big men can run block, what makes you think they can't pass block?
-- Loved seeing Aaron Maybin register a sack, awful Kanye West/Leonard Smith hybrid haircut aside. When you're good at football, bad haircuts become good haircuts, so keep it up, Maybs (we're friends)!
-- I understand where Trent Edwards apologists come from, but one of their defenses I find almost impossible to comprehend. How can you blame his failure to throw downfield on the coaching? Not everything can be Dick Jauron's fault, folks, and Ryan Fitzpatrick proved it on his first play of the game. Are you telling me not one Bills wide-out ran a 18-yard pattern while Edwards was in there?
-- A positive? Edwards' hard count had the Steelers off-kilter on several plays.
-- Also, if preseason doesn't matter, then no one should've been jazzed after Edwards' rookie preseason. His numbers for this year: 26-of-38, 189 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT, five sacks. Those would definitely look better with a certain No. 81, but they are a cause for concern.
-- Special teams ace Justin Jenkins made a terrific, punishment-absorbing catch in the second half. A useful wide receiver is going to be cut by the Bills this year. That's a shame, and the first time it's happened in a while. Speaking of which, former Buffalo receiver Martin Nance made a grab for the Steelers tonight.
-- If there's one thing that was A-plus comedy gold, it was the first commercial after the first half expired, the Northtown Auto one where Trent says, "Great drive? I like the sound of that." Sick gold, Billy.
-- I do have a solution to the QB depth -- sign whichever signal caller the Vikings dump. With apologies to Gibran Hamdan, who is a good locker room guy... I'm going to feel a heck of a lot better with Tarvaris Jackson, Sage Rosenfels or John David Booty at No. 3.
-- Marshawn Lynch looked really good, with four carries for 19 yards.
-- He's against third-stringers, but Fitzpatrick looked intelligent before and decisive after the whistle. The biggest problem I had with him was the third down play in the "green zone" when he took ages to unload to Roscoe Parrish on a quick hitter. For the preseason, Fitzpatrick is 39-of-54 for 371 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT and four sacks.
-- I'm stubborn, and yes, I still wish the Bills had taken Limas Sweed in the second round last year. He'll be a terrific third option for Pittsburgh in the next couple seasons.
-- I love Pittsburgh back-up kicker Piotr Czech, who is like the Tecmo Bowl version of Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech.
-- In regards to the new NFL/Bank of America commercial, who has ever heard of children tying a string between two brooms to make portable field goal posts?
-- Am I the only one kinda freaked out by the seemingly-cloned coolness of the City Mattress Guy? Is that why they've started using his real name in commercials? Or should I say "real name"?
Email: nick@wgr550.com
-- Before we really start, how about a moment of applause of Ryan Fitzpatrick, who inched the Bills offense over 100 total yards, all the way to 135. Great job!
-- Regardless of how you feel about the no-huddle, it's a no-win situation when the offense is doing nothing. I feel like we're watching the London Fletcher-led Bills, where third downs were an obstacle, but not as much of a roadblock as the offense continuing to put them back on the field with three-and-out after three-and-out.
-- It's football's "chicken or egg" -- who is more responsible for an offense's success, the line or the quarterback? You could make an intriguing case for the latter based on the last couple weeks, and maybe even years. Last year the Bills ran for 16 TDs, while passing for just 14. Their passing yardage per game was 20th in the NFL; the rushing, 14th. It is just the preseason, but if your big men can run block, what makes you think they can't pass block?
-- Loved seeing Aaron Maybin register a sack, awful Kanye West/Leonard Smith hybrid haircut aside. When you're good at football, bad haircuts become good haircuts, so keep it up, Maybs (we're friends)!
-- I understand where Trent Edwards apologists come from, but one of their defenses I find almost impossible to comprehend. How can you blame his failure to throw downfield on the coaching? Not everything can be Dick Jauron's fault, folks, and Ryan Fitzpatrick proved it on his first play of the game. Are you telling me not one Bills wide-out ran a 18-yard pattern while Edwards was in there?
-- A positive? Edwards' hard count had the Steelers off-kilter on several plays.
-- Also, if preseason doesn't matter, then no one should've been jazzed after Edwards' rookie preseason. His numbers for this year: 26-of-38, 189 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT, five sacks. Those would definitely look better with a certain No. 81, but they are a cause for concern.
-- Special teams ace Justin Jenkins made a terrific, punishment-absorbing catch in the second half. A useful wide receiver is going to be cut by the Bills this year. That's a shame, and the first time it's happened in a while. Speaking of which, former Buffalo receiver Martin Nance made a grab for the Steelers tonight.
-- If there's one thing that was A-plus comedy gold, it was the first commercial after the first half expired, the Northtown Auto one where Trent says, "Great drive? I like the sound of that." Sick gold, Billy.
-- I do have a solution to the QB depth -- sign whichever signal caller the Vikings dump. With apologies to Gibran Hamdan, who is a good locker room guy... I'm going to feel a heck of a lot better with Tarvaris Jackson, Sage Rosenfels or John David Booty at No. 3.
-- Marshawn Lynch looked really good, with four carries for 19 yards.
-- He's against third-stringers, but Fitzpatrick looked intelligent before and decisive after the whistle. The biggest problem I had with him was the third down play in the "green zone" when he took ages to unload to Roscoe Parrish on a quick hitter. For the preseason, Fitzpatrick is 39-of-54 for 371 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT and four sacks.
-- I'm stubborn, and yes, I still wish the Bills had taken Limas Sweed in the second round last year. He'll be a terrific third option for Pittsburgh in the next couple seasons.
-- I love Pittsburgh back-up kicker Piotr Czech, who is like the Tecmo Bowl version of Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech.
-- In regards to the new NFL/Bank of America commercial, who has ever heard of children tying a string between two brooms to make portable field goal posts?
-- Am I the only one kinda freaked out by the seemingly-cloned coolness of the City Mattress Guy? Is that why they've started using his real name in commercials? Or should I say "real name"?
Email: nick@wgr550.com
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Starks lost- What it means to Bulls
So James Starks' dream hometown college career is over thanks to a shoulder injury, and you have to feel for the senior out of Niagara Falls. The good news is the shoulder will heal, and while he likely won't remain a 2nd or 3rd round discussion item, the kid has the goods to play in the league. Heck, he's only been a feature back for three years -- granted the kid ran well as quarterback for NFHS.
But what's more interesting is how all of the sudden there's a question for Turner Gill, who has made find after find in upping the talent level and depth at UB during his tenure as head coach -- has he unearthed another gem to brighten the Starks-less backfield?
We'll find out once the season starts Sept. 5 at UTEP, but as to whether the Bulls will be still be able to effectively run the football with the Doak Walker Watch List member, all signs point to yes. Both senior Mario Henry and junior Brandon Thermilus have topped 100 yards in a game during their time in Amherst, and each player had games where their production gave Gill no choice but to keep Starks on the sideline more plays than he would've predicted.
The Bulls don't have a ton of experience beytond those two, and that's where Gill's recruiting touch will have to have been as deft as ever. Besides junior Ike Nduka, whose play has mostly been on special teams, the Bulls have Euclid big body Jeffvon Gill, who is close to six-foot and already over 220 pounds as a freshman, and 5'8" Miami speedster Branden Oliver, another freshman who happens to be a cousin of Roscoe Parrish.
Oliver was rated a three-star recruit (5.5) by Rivals.com, while Gill was two stars (4.9). UB also has Chatauqua native Josh Fuller, a freshman who played his high school ball at Mayville.
Luckily for the opener, the Bulls can look to the previous success of Thermilus, the bruising back who gained 102 yards last year against UTEP. Whether it'll be him, Henry or another will have to be discovered soon, or the legs of quarterback Zach Maynard may have to be a bigger factor than the fondest of fans had planned.
On a side note, this is obviously a crushing blow for Starks, a good kid who had it all lined up right for 2009. Here's to full healing and success at the next level, whether it's the NFL or the profession he trained for at UB.
Email: nick@wgr550.com
But what's more interesting is how all of the sudden there's a question for Turner Gill, who has made find after find in upping the talent level and depth at UB during his tenure as head coach -- has he unearthed another gem to brighten the Starks-less backfield?
We'll find out once the season starts Sept. 5 at UTEP, but as to whether the Bulls will be still be able to effectively run the football with the Doak Walker Watch List member, all signs point to yes. Both senior Mario Henry and junior Brandon Thermilus have topped 100 yards in a game during their time in Amherst, and each player had games where their production gave Gill no choice but to keep Starks on the sideline more plays than he would've predicted.
The Bulls don't have a ton of experience beytond those two, and that's where Gill's recruiting touch will have to have been as deft as ever. Besides junior Ike Nduka, whose play has mostly been on special teams, the Bulls have Euclid big body Jeffvon Gill, who is close to six-foot and already over 220 pounds as a freshman, and 5'8" Miami speedster Branden Oliver, another freshman who happens to be a cousin of Roscoe Parrish.
Oliver was rated a three-star recruit (5.5) by Rivals.com, while Gill was two stars (4.9). UB also has Chatauqua native Josh Fuller, a freshman who played his high school ball at Mayville.
Luckily for the opener, the Bulls can look to the previous success of Thermilus, the bruising back who gained 102 yards last year against UTEP. Whether it'll be him, Henry or another will have to be discovered soon, or the legs of quarterback Zach Maynard may have to be a bigger factor than the fondest of fans had planned.
On a side note, this is obviously a crushing blow for Starks, a good kid who had it all lined up right for 2009. Here's to full healing and success at the next level, whether it's the NFL or the profession he trained for at UB.
Email: nick@wgr550.com
Friday, August 21, 2009
The Myth of the Plax Double Standard
A quick note for those who think Plaxico Burress is Charles Darnay in "Tale of Two Cities," locked up for who he is and not what he's done.
It's really, really simple. Most dopes who carry an unregistered weapon and fire it face a 3 1/2 to 15-year prison term in jail. Why? Because most folks who get themselves in that spot are not firing it into their own leg.
New York State put in gun control laws that try to eliminate improper use and ownership of firearms. Picture yourself hearing about this happening in your neighborhood: a random guy has an illegal gun and uses it to shoot in any direction. Ninety-nine-point-nine-nine of these scenarios involve an incident in which the guy or girl should go to prison. A lot of the remaining incidents involve a backyard with a Confederate flag and a pig race.
Anyone who derides the NHL for punishing on the outcome of an incident as opposed to the incident itself needs to take a step back and view Burress' ordeal through those glasses. If Steve Moore had not been paralyzed, would Todd Bertuzzi's crime have been any less offensive? Same choice, and feel free to align yourself with either side.
So, don't think the guy is going to jail because he's a football player and an example needs to be made. He has unfortunately fallen prey to the wording of a law. I'm not a lawyer, but I'm also not an imbecile... at least in this case.
Email: nick@wgr550.com
It's really, really simple. Most dopes who carry an unregistered weapon and fire it face a 3 1/2 to 15-year prison term in jail. Why? Because most folks who get themselves in that spot are not firing it into their own leg.
New York State put in gun control laws that try to eliminate improper use and ownership of firearms. Picture yourself hearing about this happening in your neighborhood: a random guy has an illegal gun and uses it to shoot in any direction. Ninety-nine-point-nine-nine of these scenarios involve an incident in which the guy or girl should go to prison. A lot of the remaining incidents involve a backyard with a Confederate flag and a pig race.
Anyone who derides the NHL for punishing on the outcome of an incident as opposed to the incident itself needs to take a step back and view Burress' ordeal through those glasses. If Steve Moore had not been paralyzed, would Todd Bertuzzi's crime have been any less offensive? Same choice, and feel free to align yourself with either side.
So, don't think the guy is going to jail because he's a football player and an example needs to be made. He has unfortunately fallen prey to the wording of a law. I'm not a lawyer, but I'm also not an imbecile... at least in this case.
Email: nick@wgr550.com
Monday, August 17, 2009
R.I.P. to Lou Reuter, teacher and coach
We were all "young tigers" to Lou Reuter, who was an almost mythical figure when I roamed the fields and halls of Kenmore East High School. He will remain that way long after his passing, a loss the Town of Tonawanda and beyond are mourning today.
To me, Lou Reuter was my freshman year football coach -- his drill in warm-ups was the up-down -- and senior year government teacher with a vocabulary almost expansive as his stature. To kids at our school, he was larger than life, a personality you had to notice and a body that was in the school fitness center seemingly every day I was which -- believe it or not -- was often.
Mr. Reuter taught history at East for 37 years, and coached football for 33. He even coached three years of freshman ball at West, but I won't hold that against him. He was an Empire State Games volunteer for 17 years, and the Western Regional Director for another 10. When he retired from teaching, you couldn't miss him for long... he ran for political office in the town.
I didn't know "Sweet Lou" a ton, but when I ran into one of his fellow teachers at the supermarket this morning only to hear of Mr. Reuter's death, the only thing I could utter was, "He lived a heck of a life." That earned a smile, because whether he was helping to play the peacemaker after a fistfight between myself and an offensive lineman in 1996, or laughing off the antics of my senior friends and me four years later, he carried himself in a way that made you hope to be as happy to be alive when you were in your 60s as he was.
There are so many great teachers and coaches who don't have a student end up in a spot like me, where I can do my best to describe their impact on a community, but he deserves every accolade I can imagine. To me, he was emblematic of all things blue and gold. When I texted some siblings and friends to tell them Lou has succumbed to the disease he'd fought for about six months, my friend Jimmy C. said it the best:
"He was Kenmore East."
Sure was. God bless you and keep you, Sweet Lou.
To me, Lou Reuter was my freshman year football coach -- his drill in warm-ups was the up-down -- and senior year government teacher with a vocabulary almost expansive as his stature. To kids at our school, he was larger than life, a personality you had to notice and a body that was in the school fitness center seemingly every day I was which -- believe it or not -- was often.
Mr. Reuter taught history at East for 37 years, and coached football for 33. He even coached three years of freshman ball at West, but I won't hold that against him. He was an Empire State Games volunteer for 17 years, and the Western Regional Director for another 10. When he retired from teaching, you couldn't miss him for long... he ran for political office in the town.
I didn't know "Sweet Lou" a ton, but when I ran into one of his fellow teachers at the supermarket this morning only to hear of Mr. Reuter's death, the only thing I could utter was, "He lived a heck of a life." That earned a smile, because whether he was helping to play the peacemaker after a fistfight between myself and an offensive lineman in 1996, or laughing off the antics of my senior friends and me four years later, he carried himself in a way that made you hope to be as happy to be alive when you were in your 60s as he was.
There are so many great teachers and coaches who don't have a student end up in a spot like me, where I can do my best to describe their impact on a community, but he deserves every accolade I can imagine. To me, he was emblematic of all things blue and gold. When I texted some siblings and friends to tell them Lou has succumbed to the disease he'd fought for about six months, my friend Jimmy C. said it the best:
"He was Kenmore East."
Sure was. God bless you and keep you, Sweet Lou.
Save Your Hate: Which Team Suits You?
I'm here to invite you... to welcome you. There will be no judging, no laughing at you for not understanding our rules, our punks or our heroes. All we want is to bring a greater understanding and interest in what we love, and in this case it's embodied by the most popular professional sports league in the world.
I want to preface the rest of this by saying I have no interest in you talking garbage about soccer. In general, it just doesn't rile me up all that much. I don't say nasty things -- out loud -- about your favorite fringe sport, so simply close this Internet window if you have no interest in "the beautiful game."
However, if you've been intrigued by the recent run of American interest in soccer -- due mostly to ESPN's purchase of English and Spanish broadcast rights -- and have some questions, I'm going to use this opening day of the season to fit you up with an English team for a test drive.
There are 20 teams opening play this weekend. The top four will reach the Champions League automatically, while the lowest three will depart for the "minors" -- the Coca Cola Championship League. The fifth place team qualifies for the second-tier of European club competition, the UEFA Europa League, while two other teams can qualify, depending on some complicated scenarios I have no desire to bore you with (at this point).
I make no bones about the fact that I haven't been following the league for its entire existence, and am only making my best comparisons from a passionate spell of following the league. So, without further ado, here's a cheat sheet to help you pick a squadron to follow in the Barclay's Premier League 2009/10 campaign:
In alphabetical order:
1. Arsenal
Last championship: 2003-04
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Gunners
Location: London
Comparison: Los Angeles Lakers
Tons of celebrity fans, some of the finest players in the world, a reputation as a world-class club recently ended by an actual championship... and maybe even constantly overrated. I don't hate Arsenal, but a lot of folks do, and with a hated/loved coach in Arsene Wenger and one of the world's best players in Cesc Fabregas... ladies and gentlemen... the Los Angeles Lakers.
2. Aston Villa
Last championship: 1980-81
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Villians
Location: Birmingham
Comparisons: Bears, Eagles, Canadiens without the titles
Awesome nickname, great jerseys, cool crest (which is a lion atop the word, 'Prepared'). They're known as a bunch that loves to hate their team. No matter how good the Villains look, their fans are waiting for their eminent fall. So, while it would be easy to again think the Bills, these are British people, and they tend to get a little surly. Aston Villa does also have three Americans on the squad, though two are goalkeepers. Let's compare Aston Villa to the Chicago Bears or Philadelphia Eagles.
3. Birmingham City
Last championship: Never
Years in Premier League: 6/18 (Return: 2009/10)
Nickname: Blues
Location: Birmingham
Comparison: Buffalo Sabres, Detroit Lions
Welcome back... see ya later. The Blues are back up in the Premiership, but fate says they won't stay up, if only for sharing a nickname with one of league's legendary clubs (Chelsea). Birmingham City are one of the old clubs whose former name is so much cooler than their new moniker: Small Heath Alliance. According to Wikipedia, "The fans are referred to as Bluenoses, a nickname attributed by the Football Fans Census survey to an 'accusation they are left out in the cold when it comes to success,'." Let's just go ahead and unfairly label them the Sabres of English football, as they are a "yo-yo" club, good for a while, but never great enough to be force.
4. Blackburn
Last championship: 1994-95
Years in Premier League: 16/18 (Return: 2001/02)
Nickname: Rovers
Location: Blackburn
Comparison: Pittsburgh Pirates
Blackburn wear jerseys that are half-blue and half-white, and I just don't have too much to say about them. They've been around forever as an integral part of the history of English football, but have only had moments in the Sun in recent history. Their team this year does not look promising, and I wouldn't choose them if only because I think they're headed for the second tier. Blackburn have let too many good players leave in the past few years to be considered for real.
5. Bolton
Last championship: N/A
Years in Premier League: 11/18 (Return: 2001/02)
Nickname: Wanderers
Location: Horwich (Manchester)
Comparison: Buffalo Bills
Bolton have spent the most years in England's top division without winning it. That's 70 years -- making Cubs fans' grief even more remarkable. I was going to question Bolton letting their longtime captain skip town for Newcastle last year, but Kevin Nolan contributed little to the Mags as they were sent down. Bolton never seems like they have a solid enough roster to compete, but generally are a pretty annoying team to oppose. I'm tempted to predict their relegation this year, but they usually defy expectations.
6. Burnley
Last championship: 1959-60
Years in Premier League: 1/18 (Return: 2009/10)
Nickname: Clarets
Location: Burnley
Comparison: St. Louis Blues, 1990s Ottawa Senators
I know very little about Burnley, who returns to the Premier League this weekend. Their jerseys look like West Ham and Aston Villa, and they have been around for more than a spell in terms of mattering to soccer. So, I'm going to randomly say that rooting for the Clarets is like rooting for the St. Louis Blues, or the 1990s Ottawa Senators
7. Chelsea
Last championship: 2005-06
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Blues
Location: London
Comparison: New York Mets
Chelsea is the New Jersey Devils if they Devils signed all their players for the highest amount of dollar. I'm not a huge fan, as I'm usually not thrilled with Chelsea's style of play, though everyone else seems to be enamored with it, because they have remarkably skilled players. Even when the Blues have glory, they find another venue to disappoint. Chelsea is the New York Mets.
8. Everton
Last championship: 1986-87
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Toffees, The School of Science
Location: Liverpool
Comparison: Boston Bruins
Everton has the best goalkeeper in the Premiership, but he's underappreciated because he's American. Tim Howard's the man, and he plays for a team that is reputable for playing a beautiful brand of soccer, i.e. their nickname of "The School of Science." Their other nickname has to do with the fact that in the 1800s they played next to an old woman's candy shop, and tossed toffee into the crowd. They have a goofy, cartoonish looking star. They are the Boston Bruins.
9. Fulham
Last championship: 2001-02
Years in Premier League: 9/18
Nickname: Cottagers
Location: London
Comparison: Los Angeles Dodgers
Fulham is an easy choice to back, if only because they have American star Clint Dempsey roaming the pitch. The Texan has a flair for the dramatic, and is backed up by another Yank striker, Eddie Johnson. Rooting for Fulham gives you a chance to hate Chelsea, which is always a plus. Chelsea's home stadium, Stamford Bridge, is actually in Fulham. Imagine the Phillies playing their home games outside Citi Field. They have a highly-respected coach and are consider overachieving in the most fashionable part of London, according to my Buffalo Flash broadcast partner, Oliver Petersen.
10. Hull City
Last championship: N/A
Years in Premier League: 2/18
Nickname: Tigers
Location: Kingston-upon-Hull
Comparison: Toronto Raptors, Miami Heat
If would be a tough choice to select the Tigers, who I think will be sent down after this season, but they did acquire 19-year-old American striker Jozy Altidore from Villarreal on season-long loan, and they also have decent jerseys. Their first spell in the big division was recently, and Hull's mascot is "Roary the Tiger." How appropo.
11. Liverpool
Last championship: 1989-90
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Reds
Location: Liverpool
Comparison: New York Yankees
Liverpool have had incredible success, and won title after title after titles right up until 1990. They still represent at a top-flight level, have big name stars and play a good brand of football. To me, it's hard not to think of Liverpool as the Yankees, especially when you toss in the relative title-drought that wouldn't seem like a long time to smaller squads. Plus, like New York, Liverpool was the springboard for some hot rock and roll back in the day.
12. Manchester City
Last championship: 1967-68
Years in Premier League: 13/18 (Return: 2002/03)
Nickname: Citizens
Location: Manchester
Comparison: Dallas Mavericks
Treated as third- or fourth-class citizens by their rivals, they have won before, and spent most of their recent seasons in the discussion, but are not considered a threat because they have a billionaire owner who will overpay for elite players. Call it a mix between the Dallas Mavericks and the Washington Redskins, but since the Skins have been successful, we're going with the Mavs.
13. Manchester United
Last championship: 2008-09
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Red Devils
Location: Manchester
Comparison: Boston Red Sox
When I got into soccer, everyone told me Man Utd. were the New York Yankees, but this isn't the case. These guys do spend a ton to win, and are a faithful bunch of fans, but the actual fans in Manchester seem much more ornery than most. Let Chelsea or Liverpool be the Yankees of the EPL, the Red Devils are the Red Sox, right down to letting seeming stars walk out the door and finding suitable replacements. They do have a Yankee aspect to them, in that they have some great traditional fans, but also a bunch of idiotic ones that make you want to light Old Trafford on fire. The book "Among the Thugs" has some of the most disgusting sports fan violent stories ever, and most deal with Man Utd.
The team, however, have Wayne Rooney and Nemanja Vidic who are, as commentators would say, "a joy to watch." Plus I'm pretty sure Rooney is drunk during most of his matches.
14. Portsmouth
Last championship: 1949-50
Years in Premier League: 7/18 (Return 2002-03)
Nickname: Pompey
Location: Portsmouth
Comparison: Rooting for a Baltimore squad... if you can ignore that the Ravens were stolen from Cleveland.
Pompey is a bunch of low-down dirty Southern Englanders who love their ball club and deserve better. Their rivalries are with teams they don't get to play very often, and they won the 2008 FA Cup -- an inseason tournament of all English clubs -- while failing to be a true threat to the Top Four since returning to the Premiership. They've also had a lot of problems with hooliganism, which is no fun. I think the Bills might be a good equivalent, if they were a port city still. Portsmouth is an island city with naval importance... so I kind of want to go with a Colts team that never left Baltimore.
15. Stoke City
Last championship: N/A
Years in Premier League: 2/18 (Return 2008-09)
Nickname: Potters
Location: Stoke-on-Trent
Comparison: Cleveland Browns (without the stupid Dawg thing)
I had the fortune of seeing a game at Stoke when my wife and I visited London. I made the 3 1/2 hour trek via train to see my Magpies take on the Potters, and I have a lot of respect for the Stoke fans and grounds. They've recently come up to prominence, and are "happy to be there." Stoke is the oldest club in the Premier League, but didn't mean much to the league since being relegated in the early 50s. Because of their recent success, they have the feel of an expansion team with actual fans you don't hate. So, in a sense, they are the Browns without the Dawg Pound.
16. Sunderland
Last championship: 1935-36
Years in Premier League: 9/18
Nickname: Mackems, Black Cats
Location: Sunderland, Tyne-upon-Wear
Comparison: Toronto Maple Leafs
I hate Sunderland. Hate. They are my miserable team's (Newcastle) biggest rival, they live in a cesspool of a town, and even their players have worn shirts that make fun of their team. They have a great tradition -- I guess -- but haven't won anything that means anything in longer than their rivals. Their nickname isn't an actual word (Mackem is short for Make Them, abbreviated). If you like Sunderland, congratulations, you like the Toronto Maple Leafs.
17. Tottenham
Last championship: 1960-61
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Hotspur, Spurs
Location: London
Comparison: Exciting squad, hate-able rival? The Chicago Blackhawks
Spurs are a good team to pick. They have an awesome name, a cool-albeit-goofy logo and they play in London, so visiting them is an A-plus idea. Tottenham hates Arsenal, so it's a good bet for vitriol as well. Spurs also have a ton of extremely likeable and/or exciting players: Jermaine Defoe, Sebastian Bassong, Giovani dos Santos, Aaron Lennon and Roman Pavyluchenko. Spurs also have a "Buffalo in a huge market" feel.
18. West Ham United
Last championship: N/A
Years in Premier League: 16/18 (Return 2005-06)
Nickname: Hammers
Location: London
Comparison: The Oakland Raiders, without the Super Bowls.
The Hammers are based in a large market and have a cool nickname to go with supporters with a reputation for getting so violent that a hooligan movie was made about them ("Green Street Hooligans," starring Elijah Wood and Charlie Hunnam ("Sons of Anarchy")). They have a solid kit, even if it'll be overshadowed as long as Aston Villa and Burnley are near the top division. West Ham also has an American defender, Jonathan Spector.
19. Wigan Athletic
Last championship: N/A
Years in Premier League: 5/18 (Return 2005-06)
Nickname: Latics
Location: Manchester
Comparison: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tampa Bay Lightning
Wigan are a sort of feel-good team with a stupid nickname and a goofy logo. "Latics" is short for "athletics" (yep) and their crest features a tree. "Ye Olde Tree and Crown" reminds me of an expansion team with a goofy name, but cheerable team.
20. Wolverhampton
Last championship: 1958-59
Years in Premier League: 2/18 (Return 2008-09)
Nickname: Wolves, Wanderers
Location: West Midlands
Comparison: Philadelphia 76ers
My crib notes list my impressions of Wolverhampton as "highly influential and important to the game, with a long absence from relevance and recent bouts with glory and depression." As tempting as it is to call the Wolves the Buffalo Sabres of the EPL, a better bet would be the Sixers.
Or....
21. Newcastle United
The Magpies are my team and were relegated after finishing in the bottom three of the Premier League in 2008/09. They are a proud franchise run by a terrible owner who is threatening to make them a moot point in the future of English soccer. Call them the Chicago Cubs, the Buffalo Bills or the Buffalo Sabres. Like the above, they haven't won a worthwhile title in forever. We're talking the fifties, and my goodness have they had hard luck and heartbreak along the way. This club has taken an absolute beating,and it'll be interesting to see if they can rejoin the Premier League with a Top Two finish in the Coca-Cola Championship this year. Come aboard.
IF I WERE PICKING A TEAM TO START WITH RIGHT NOW...
1. Tottenham
2. Arsenal
3. Fulham
4. Stoke City
5. Portsmouth
6. Manchester City
7. Aston Villa
8. West Ham
9. Bolton
10. Manchester United
11. Liverpool
12. Birmingham City
13. Everton
14. Chelsea
15. Hull City
16. Wolverhampton
17. Wigan
18. Blackburn
19. Burnley
20. Sunderland
PREDICTIONS FOR 2009/10 TABLE/STANDINGS:
1. Liverpool
2. Manchester United
3. Chelsea
4. Manchester City
5. Arsenal
6. Tottenham
7. Everton
8. Aston Villa
9. Fulham
10. Wigan
11. West Ham
12. Sunderland
13. Stoke City
14. Portsmouth
15. Bolton
16. Wolverhampton
17. Hull City
----RELEGATED----
18. Blackburn
19. Birmingham City
20. Burnley
----COMING UP FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP TO THE PREMIER LEAGUE----
1. Sheffield United
2. Newcastle United
3. West Bromwich Albion
Email: nick@wgr550.com
I want to preface the rest of this by saying I have no interest in you talking garbage about soccer. In general, it just doesn't rile me up all that much. I don't say nasty things -- out loud -- about your favorite fringe sport, so simply close this Internet window if you have no interest in "the beautiful game."
However, if you've been intrigued by the recent run of American interest in soccer -- due mostly to ESPN's purchase of English and Spanish broadcast rights -- and have some questions, I'm going to use this opening day of the season to fit you up with an English team for a test drive.
There are 20 teams opening play this weekend. The top four will reach the Champions League automatically, while the lowest three will depart for the "minors" -- the Coca Cola Championship League. The fifth place team qualifies for the second-tier of European club competition, the UEFA Europa League, while two other teams can qualify, depending on some complicated scenarios I have no desire to bore you with (at this point).
I make no bones about the fact that I haven't been following the league for its entire existence, and am only making my best comparisons from a passionate spell of following the league. So, without further ado, here's a cheat sheet to help you pick a squadron to follow in the Barclay's Premier League 2009/10 campaign:
In alphabetical order:
1. Arsenal
Last championship: 2003-04
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Gunners
Location: London
Comparison: Los Angeles Lakers
Tons of celebrity fans, some of the finest players in the world, a reputation as a world-class club recently ended by an actual championship... and maybe even constantly overrated. I don't hate Arsenal, but a lot of folks do, and with a hated/loved coach in Arsene Wenger and one of the world's best players in Cesc Fabregas... ladies and gentlemen... the Los Angeles Lakers.
2. Aston Villa
Last championship: 1980-81
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Villians
Location: Birmingham
Comparisons: Bears, Eagles, Canadiens without the titles
Awesome nickname, great jerseys, cool crest (which is a lion atop the word, 'Prepared'). They're known as a bunch that loves to hate their team. No matter how good the Villains look, their fans are waiting for their eminent fall. So, while it would be easy to again think the Bills, these are British people, and they tend to get a little surly. Aston Villa does also have three Americans on the squad, though two are goalkeepers. Let's compare Aston Villa to the Chicago Bears or Philadelphia Eagles.
3. Birmingham City
Last championship: Never
Years in Premier League: 6/18 (Return: 2009/10)
Nickname: Blues
Location: Birmingham
Comparison: Buffalo Sabres, Detroit Lions
Welcome back... see ya later. The Blues are back up in the Premiership, but fate says they won't stay up, if only for sharing a nickname with one of league's legendary clubs (Chelsea). Birmingham City are one of the old clubs whose former name is so much cooler than their new moniker: Small Heath Alliance. According to Wikipedia, "The fans are referred to as Bluenoses, a nickname attributed by the Football Fans Census survey to an 'accusation they are left out in the cold when it comes to success,'." Let's just go ahead and unfairly label them the Sabres of English football, as they are a "yo-yo" club, good for a while, but never great enough to be force.
4. Blackburn
Last championship: 1994-95
Years in Premier League: 16/18 (Return: 2001/02)
Nickname: Rovers
Location: Blackburn
Comparison: Pittsburgh Pirates
Blackburn wear jerseys that are half-blue and half-white, and I just don't have too much to say about them. They've been around forever as an integral part of the history of English football, but have only had moments in the Sun in recent history. Their team this year does not look promising, and I wouldn't choose them if only because I think they're headed for the second tier. Blackburn have let too many good players leave in the past few years to be considered for real.
5. Bolton
Last championship: N/A
Years in Premier League: 11/18 (Return: 2001/02)
Nickname: Wanderers
Location: Horwich (Manchester)
Comparison: Buffalo Bills
Bolton have spent the most years in England's top division without winning it. That's 70 years -- making Cubs fans' grief even more remarkable. I was going to question Bolton letting their longtime captain skip town for Newcastle last year, but Kevin Nolan contributed little to the Mags as they were sent down. Bolton never seems like they have a solid enough roster to compete, but generally are a pretty annoying team to oppose. I'm tempted to predict their relegation this year, but they usually defy expectations.
6. Burnley
Last championship: 1959-60
Years in Premier League: 1/18 (Return: 2009/10)
Nickname: Clarets
Location: Burnley
Comparison: St. Louis Blues, 1990s Ottawa Senators
I know very little about Burnley, who returns to the Premier League this weekend. Their jerseys look like West Ham and Aston Villa, and they have been around for more than a spell in terms of mattering to soccer. So, I'm going to randomly say that rooting for the Clarets is like rooting for the St. Louis Blues, or the 1990s Ottawa Senators
7. Chelsea
Last championship: 2005-06
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Blues
Location: London
Comparison: New York Mets
Chelsea is the New Jersey Devils if they Devils signed all their players for the highest amount of dollar. I'm not a huge fan, as I'm usually not thrilled with Chelsea's style of play, though everyone else seems to be enamored with it, because they have remarkably skilled players. Even when the Blues have glory, they find another venue to disappoint. Chelsea is the New York Mets.
8. Everton
Last championship: 1986-87
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Toffees, The School of Science
Location: Liverpool
Comparison: Boston Bruins
Everton has the best goalkeeper in the Premiership, but he's underappreciated because he's American. Tim Howard's the man, and he plays for a team that is reputable for playing a beautiful brand of soccer, i.e. their nickname of "The School of Science." Their other nickname has to do with the fact that in the 1800s they played next to an old woman's candy shop, and tossed toffee into the crowd. They have a goofy, cartoonish looking star. They are the Boston Bruins.
9. Fulham
Last championship: 2001-02
Years in Premier League: 9/18
Nickname: Cottagers
Location: London
Comparison: Los Angeles Dodgers
Fulham is an easy choice to back, if only because they have American star Clint Dempsey roaming the pitch. The Texan has a flair for the dramatic, and is backed up by another Yank striker, Eddie Johnson. Rooting for Fulham gives you a chance to hate Chelsea, which is always a plus. Chelsea's home stadium, Stamford Bridge, is actually in Fulham. Imagine the Phillies playing their home games outside Citi Field. They have a highly-respected coach and are consider overachieving in the most fashionable part of London, according to my Buffalo Flash broadcast partner, Oliver Petersen.
10. Hull City
Last championship: N/A
Years in Premier League: 2/18
Nickname: Tigers
Location: Kingston-upon-Hull
Comparison: Toronto Raptors, Miami Heat
If would be a tough choice to select the Tigers, who I think will be sent down after this season, but they did acquire 19-year-old American striker Jozy Altidore from Villarreal on season-long loan, and they also have decent jerseys. Their first spell in the big division was recently, and Hull's mascot is "Roary the Tiger." How appropo.
11. Liverpool
Last championship: 1989-90
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Reds
Location: Liverpool
Comparison: New York Yankees
Liverpool have had incredible success, and won title after title after titles right up until 1990. They still represent at a top-flight level, have big name stars and play a good brand of football. To me, it's hard not to think of Liverpool as the Yankees, especially when you toss in the relative title-drought that wouldn't seem like a long time to smaller squads. Plus, like New York, Liverpool was the springboard for some hot rock and roll back in the day.
12. Manchester City
Last championship: 1967-68
Years in Premier League: 13/18 (Return: 2002/03)
Nickname: Citizens
Location: Manchester
Comparison: Dallas Mavericks
Treated as third- or fourth-class citizens by their rivals, they have won before, and spent most of their recent seasons in the discussion, but are not considered a threat because they have a billionaire owner who will overpay for elite players. Call it a mix between the Dallas Mavericks and the Washington Redskins, but since the Skins have been successful, we're going with the Mavs.
13. Manchester United
Last championship: 2008-09
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Red Devils
Location: Manchester
Comparison: Boston Red Sox
When I got into soccer, everyone told me Man Utd. were the New York Yankees, but this isn't the case. These guys do spend a ton to win, and are a faithful bunch of fans, but the actual fans in Manchester seem much more ornery than most. Let Chelsea or Liverpool be the Yankees of the EPL, the Red Devils are the Red Sox, right down to letting seeming stars walk out the door and finding suitable replacements. They do have a Yankee aspect to them, in that they have some great traditional fans, but also a bunch of idiotic ones that make you want to light Old Trafford on fire. The book "Among the Thugs" has some of the most disgusting sports fan violent stories ever, and most deal with Man Utd.
The team, however, have Wayne Rooney and Nemanja Vidic who are, as commentators would say, "a joy to watch." Plus I'm pretty sure Rooney is drunk during most of his matches.
14. Portsmouth
Last championship: 1949-50
Years in Premier League: 7/18 (Return 2002-03)
Nickname: Pompey
Location: Portsmouth
Comparison: Rooting for a Baltimore squad... if you can ignore that the Ravens were stolen from Cleveland.
Pompey is a bunch of low-down dirty Southern Englanders who love their ball club and deserve better. Their rivalries are with teams they don't get to play very often, and they won the 2008 FA Cup -- an inseason tournament of all English clubs -- while failing to be a true threat to the Top Four since returning to the Premiership. They've also had a lot of problems with hooliganism, which is no fun. I think the Bills might be a good equivalent, if they were a port city still. Portsmouth is an island city with naval importance... so I kind of want to go with a Colts team that never left Baltimore.
15. Stoke City
Last championship: N/A
Years in Premier League: 2/18 (Return 2008-09)
Nickname: Potters
Location: Stoke-on-Trent
Comparison: Cleveland Browns (without the stupid Dawg thing)
I had the fortune of seeing a game at Stoke when my wife and I visited London. I made the 3 1/2 hour trek via train to see my Magpies take on the Potters, and I have a lot of respect for the Stoke fans and grounds. They've recently come up to prominence, and are "happy to be there." Stoke is the oldest club in the Premier League, but didn't mean much to the league since being relegated in the early 50s. Because of their recent success, they have the feel of an expansion team with actual fans you don't hate. So, in a sense, they are the Browns without the Dawg Pound.
16. Sunderland
Last championship: 1935-36
Years in Premier League: 9/18
Nickname: Mackems, Black Cats
Location: Sunderland, Tyne-upon-Wear
Comparison: Toronto Maple Leafs
I hate Sunderland. Hate. They are my miserable team's (Newcastle) biggest rival, they live in a cesspool of a town, and even their players have worn shirts that make fun of their team. They have a great tradition -- I guess -- but haven't won anything that means anything in longer than their rivals. Their nickname isn't an actual word (Mackem is short for Make Them, abbreviated). If you like Sunderland, congratulations, you like the Toronto Maple Leafs.
17. Tottenham
Last championship: 1960-61
Years in Premier League: 18/18
Nickname: Hotspur, Spurs
Location: London
Comparison: Exciting squad, hate-able rival? The Chicago Blackhawks
Spurs are a good team to pick. They have an awesome name, a cool-albeit-goofy logo and they play in London, so visiting them is an A-plus idea. Tottenham hates Arsenal, so it's a good bet for vitriol as well. Spurs also have a ton of extremely likeable and/or exciting players: Jermaine Defoe, Sebastian Bassong, Giovani dos Santos, Aaron Lennon and Roman Pavyluchenko. Spurs also have a "Buffalo in a huge market" feel.
18. West Ham United
Last championship: N/A
Years in Premier League: 16/18 (Return 2005-06)
Nickname: Hammers
Location: London
Comparison: The Oakland Raiders, without the Super Bowls.
The Hammers are based in a large market and have a cool nickname to go with supporters with a reputation for getting so violent that a hooligan movie was made about them ("Green Street Hooligans," starring Elijah Wood and Charlie Hunnam ("Sons of Anarchy")). They have a solid kit, even if it'll be overshadowed as long as Aston Villa and Burnley are near the top division. West Ham also has an American defender, Jonathan Spector.
19. Wigan Athletic
Last championship: N/A
Years in Premier League: 5/18 (Return 2005-06)
Nickname: Latics
Location: Manchester
Comparison: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tampa Bay Lightning
Wigan are a sort of feel-good team with a stupid nickname and a goofy logo. "Latics" is short for "athletics" (yep) and their crest features a tree. "Ye Olde Tree and Crown" reminds me of an expansion team with a goofy name, but cheerable team.
20. Wolverhampton
Last championship: 1958-59
Years in Premier League: 2/18 (Return 2008-09)
Nickname: Wolves, Wanderers
Location: West Midlands
Comparison: Philadelphia 76ers
My crib notes list my impressions of Wolverhampton as "highly influential and important to the game, with a long absence from relevance and recent bouts with glory and depression." As tempting as it is to call the Wolves the Buffalo Sabres of the EPL, a better bet would be the Sixers.
Or....
21. Newcastle United
The Magpies are my team and were relegated after finishing in the bottom three of the Premier League in 2008/09. They are a proud franchise run by a terrible owner who is threatening to make them a moot point in the future of English soccer. Call them the Chicago Cubs, the Buffalo Bills or the Buffalo Sabres. Like the above, they haven't won a worthwhile title in forever. We're talking the fifties, and my goodness have they had hard luck and heartbreak along the way. This club has taken an absolute beating,and it'll be interesting to see if they can rejoin the Premier League with a Top Two finish in the Coca-Cola Championship this year. Come aboard.
IF I WERE PICKING A TEAM TO START WITH RIGHT NOW...
1. Tottenham
2. Arsenal
3. Fulham
4. Stoke City
5. Portsmouth
6. Manchester City
7. Aston Villa
8. West Ham
9. Bolton
10. Manchester United
11. Liverpool
12. Birmingham City
13. Everton
14. Chelsea
15. Hull City
16. Wolverhampton
17. Wigan
18. Blackburn
19. Burnley
20. Sunderland
PREDICTIONS FOR 2009/10 TABLE/STANDINGS:
1. Liverpool
2. Manchester United
3. Chelsea
4. Manchester City
5. Arsenal
6. Tottenham
7. Everton
8. Aston Villa
9. Fulham
10. Wigan
11. West Ham
12. Sunderland
13. Stoke City
14. Portsmouth
15. Bolton
16. Wolverhampton
17. Hull City
----RELEGATED----
18. Blackburn
19. Birmingham City
20. Burnley
----COMING UP FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP TO THE PREMIER LEAGUE----
1. Sheffield United
2. Newcastle United
3. West Bromwich Albion
Email: nick@wgr550.com
Delayed Reactions
What can you possibly take away from a preseason game? Not all that much, but there were a few noteworthy moments from Saturday contest against the Bears (even with a certain ball-catcher injured).
-- Trent Edwards' completion to Lee Evans was nice, but we need to see more intermediate routes and decisive throws. We requested that he be allowed to drop back more than four times this week, and he obliged. We can't be naive enough to suppose that there aren't receivers running more than nine yards downfield, and five of his 10-of-10 performance went to running backs. That said, 10-of-10 is kinda nice, and I continue to be hopeful, but not expectant, of a major improvement for Edwards.
-- I was already criticized for this sentiment last week, but I really believe Leodis McKelvin is going to be a star, not just on the team, but in the league. He should be the type of corner you end up paying big bucks rather than letting walk, something the Bills didn't see fit to do with Nate Clements, Antoine Winfield or Jabari Greer.
-- Never throw a pity-party for guys making well-over six figures per year in their early 20s, but tough times for Stevie Johnson and James Hardy. Neither is a typical slot threat and neither will outshiner Lee Evans or Terrell Owens, so it almost feels like a predestined year of relative obscurity. Unless Roscoe Parrish is traded, it's hard to imagine either wide-out on the field, and that could include empty backfield sets if Shawn Nelson is anything close to the real deal.
-- If you missed my Sportstalk Saturday show, here's a recap -- there's no reason Aaron Maybin shouldn't be in camp right now. When the draft happened, which of the following names would you have not expected to be in the final three hold-outs: Andre Smith, Michael Crabtree or Maybin? Exactly.
-- I need to address the Ellis Lankster thing right now, as I interviewed him for Bills Digest right after the draft. The guy is a football player, not an orator, and those who called the Whiner Line -- and there were plenty -- making fun of a guy with a major speech problem need to take a step back. If he keeps making interceptions, maybe he'll work it out, too. A fantastic game for the rookie, and you wonder if he'll spell the end of a veteran corner making more money.
-- How about a no-huddle offense using 16 more minutes of the clock than the Bears? The four interceptions certainly helped.
-- No Bills running back ran for more than 3.2 yards-per-carry.
-- Chris Ellis got to the quarterback again, which is a beautiful thing. Too many people signalled Ellis as a third-round bust, but most defensive ends have miserable first seasons. You can point directly to Texans wonder Mario Williams, the No. 1 overall pick who only registered 4.5 sacks his rookie year before totalling 25-plus in his second and third years. I'm not saying Ellis is one-third the player Williams is, but it's a nice sign. Aaron who?
Email: nick@wgr550.com
-- Trent Edwards' completion to Lee Evans was nice, but we need to see more intermediate routes and decisive throws. We requested that he be allowed to drop back more than four times this week, and he obliged. We can't be naive enough to suppose that there aren't receivers running more than nine yards downfield, and five of his 10-of-10 performance went to running backs. That said, 10-of-10 is kinda nice, and I continue to be hopeful, but not expectant, of a major improvement for Edwards.
-- I was already criticized for this sentiment last week, but I really believe Leodis McKelvin is going to be a star, not just on the team, but in the league. He should be the type of corner you end up paying big bucks rather than letting walk, something the Bills didn't see fit to do with Nate Clements, Antoine Winfield or Jabari Greer.
-- Never throw a pity-party for guys making well-over six figures per year in their early 20s, but tough times for Stevie Johnson and James Hardy. Neither is a typical slot threat and neither will outshiner Lee Evans or Terrell Owens, so it almost feels like a predestined year of relative obscurity. Unless Roscoe Parrish is traded, it's hard to imagine either wide-out on the field, and that could include empty backfield sets if Shawn Nelson is anything close to the real deal.
-- If you missed my Sportstalk Saturday show, here's a recap -- there's no reason Aaron Maybin shouldn't be in camp right now. When the draft happened, which of the following names would you have not expected to be in the final three hold-outs: Andre Smith, Michael Crabtree or Maybin? Exactly.
-- I need to address the Ellis Lankster thing right now, as I interviewed him for Bills Digest right after the draft. The guy is a football player, not an orator, and those who called the Whiner Line -- and there were plenty -- making fun of a guy with a major speech problem need to take a step back. If he keeps making interceptions, maybe he'll work it out, too. A fantastic game for the rookie, and you wonder if he'll spell the end of a veteran corner making more money.
-- How about a no-huddle offense using 16 more minutes of the clock than the Bears? The four interceptions certainly helped.
-- No Bills running back ran for more than 3.2 yards-per-carry.
-- Chris Ellis got to the quarterback again, which is a beautiful thing. Too many people signalled Ellis as a third-round bust, but most defensive ends have miserable first seasons. You can point directly to Texans wonder Mario Williams, the No. 1 overall pick who only registered 4.5 sacks his rookie year before totalling 25-plus in his second and third years. I'm not saying Ellis is one-third the player Williams is, but it's a nice sign. Aaron who?
Email: nick@wgr550.com
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I think I hate slow-pitch (and I'm awful at it)
I was going to wait until after my first hit of 2009 to type this vitriolic piece, but offensive anemia got in the way. With Howard, Jeremy and Paul Hamilton getting all over me this morning for being hitless, I might as well go for it.
I think I hate slow-pitch softball. If it wasn't for the fact that I like the guys on the team and wouldn't see any of them except a handful if I didn't play, I might be done.
-- I hate a lot of things about softball, the least of which is the actual game. I hate the guy last week who showed up in Under Armour tights a la Kobe Bryant and ONE Under Armour sleeve, as if he's Dontrelle Willis (the good years).
-- The actual ball is stupid. Let's just play on a real-sized field with a hardball and use a pitching machine. You shouldn't consider yourself Cy Young if you can reverse-spin a ball and land it on home plate for a strike.
-- I hate that if if you can loop a ball over the infield and before the Major League-depth outfield, you can Slow Pitch Money Ball your way to a boring championship.
For the record, my 0-for-13 start to this season is putrid, but it's not like I haven't hit before. Thanks to Paul Hamilton's absurd stat-keeping that allows you to know how many errors you've had since 2002, I can tell you I went 10-for-25 (.400) in 2007 and 10-for-30 (.300) last year. I guess that lowers my career average to .294, and let's face it, hitting in slow-pitch is so easy that if .200 is the Mendoza line in the bigs, then .300 should be the Mendola line in slow-pitch.
Plus, I've got a house now. Perhaps it's time I just come to terms with two sports and play ice hockey in the winter and soccer in the summer/fall. I'm a terrible slow-pitch softball hitter -- I can field -- and it may be time to come to terms with that.
I think I hate slow-pitch softball. If it wasn't for the fact that I like the guys on the team and wouldn't see any of them except a handful if I didn't play, I might be done.
-- I hate a lot of things about softball, the least of which is the actual game. I hate the guy last week who showed up in Under Armour tights a la Kobe Bryant and ONE Under Armour sleeve, as if he's Dontrelle Willis (the good years).
-- The actual ball is stupid. Let's just play on a real-sized field with a hardball and use a pitching machine. You shouldn't consider yourself Cy Young if you can reverse-spin a ball and land it on home plate for a strike.
-- I hate that if if you can loop a ball over the infield and before the Major League-depth outfield, you can Slow Pitch Money Ball your way to a boring championship.
For the record, my 0-for-13 start to this season is putrid, but it's not like I haven't hit before. Thanks to Paul Hamilton's absurd stat-keeping that allows you to know how many errors you've had since 2002, I can tell you I went 10-for-25 (.400) in 2007 and 10-for-30 (.300) last year. I guess that lowers my career average to .294, and let's face it, hitting in slow-pitch is so easy that if .200 is the Mendoza line in the bigs, then .300 should be the Mendola line in slow-pitch.
Plus, I've got a house now. Perhaps it's time I just come to terms with two sports and play ice hockey in the winter and soccer in the summer/fall. I'm a terrible slow-pitch softball hitter -- I can field -- and it may be time to come to terms with that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
