Sunday, October 11, 2009
Immediate Reactions, Wk5
12:42 PM | 
Posted by
Nick Mendola
I've been told that my "Tweets" were funnier than the game. It wasn't all on purpose, but feel free to see the extra immediate reactions here: Twitter.com/NicholasMendola
For a fan base that's seen this -- or something just as brutal -- plenty of times before, it's amazing that it continues to surprise us.
I spent Sportstalk Saturday saying there's no way the Bills could lose to the hapless Browns. This was, after all, a Cleveland team worse than they were last year, and devoid of any offensive weapons outside of Jamal Lewis. As bad as the Buffalo Bills are, I simply could not believe they'd lose at home to this 0-4 team.
But, there was something I failed to comprehend.
We have the worst team in the National Football League.
Aie, the massacre...
-- Twenty-two seconds and you dump it off to Lee Evans five yards past the line? Then, you heave the ball once you've almost crossed the line of scrimmage? Trent Edwards heard Derek Anderson demand that he could be the lowest form of quarterbacking life, and said, "Give me a shovel, and watch me dig through this garbage."
Like "Fight Club," we've found rock bottom.
-- Staying with the "Fight Club" comparison, Bills fans will feel like Raymond K. Hessel tomorrow. Their breakfast will taste better than any meal non-Bills fans have ever tasted.
-- I guess Rob Ryan knew what he was talking about when he said this about Trent Edwards last week:
"I don't think that's [Bengals quarterback] Carson Palmer back there by any stretch. Absolutely, he's not. Not too many quarterbacks are. The guy can run and do some things, but we've played Brett Favre. We've played Carson Palmer. Those are two pretty good quarterbacks right there. This guy [Edwards] always seems to have a lot to say, so I'm going to say the same thing. Let's go. Let's get it on, see what he's all about this week."
Edwards, being the polite fella he is, thought it best to prove that no man is a liar.
-- I want to say some positive things. I need to. The defense was good enough to win today, even with no linebackers and a secondary that should've been called tertiary.
-- The Bills had to have been trying to get Dick Jauron fired. There is no way professional athletes assembled onto one unit could play that bad. I'm literally sick to my stomach. It was a garbage show so poor that I was half-hoping the game would end in a 3-3 tie.
-- Dick Jauron has to be fired. Has to be. I was on his side, or at least not ready to fire him, for weeks and weeks longer than I should've. The penalties, the quarterbacking, the everything.... stinks.
-- YOU need to feel insulted right now. Not just for how bad this team is on the field, but for the canceled on-field ceremonies and the lies about them. It's one of those things where you're going to hear that the media and fans are creating lies to hurt the Bills in some sado-masochistic philosophy to make our jobs stink. Or this exists: Ralph Wilson to get Hall of Fame ring on Sunday.
-- Alex Van Pelt needs to be criticized, and will at least twice in this space, for not running the ball more, in particular with Marshawn Lynch, who moved the pile the way he usually does. Sure, Fred Jackson wasn't especially effective as the "change of pace," but if Cleveland's porous run defense was begging the Bills to rush, then Trent Edwards' brain was. Weak-minded to say the least.
-- When's the trade deadline? Is there a guard, quarterback or linebacker with two legs we could get for Roscoe Parrish?
-- Nine false starts is bad, but how many true starts did they have?
-- Terrell Owens played a heck of a ball game, and was more than polite during his post-game press conference. Dude shouldn't have to leap for every pass... and the sad part will be when analysts point to his numbers as declining talent.
-- Note to school children: steer clear of Roscoe Parrish's lawn.
-- The Bills had the ball for three more minutes than Cleveland. Guess what? It's not the no-huddle's fault, like I've been saying for weeks.
-- I sincerely believe that all NFL teams are better on the whole than even the best NCAA teams, but I think if you let the LSU defense and Texas offense take on the Bills, well, it would be a very interesting game. Interesting like finding out what would happen if you glued your hands to a ceiling fan. Interest is a funny term.
-- An in-game email from a pal named Alex:
"for your consideration:
i don't claim to know how nfl head coaching contracts are structured and worded. i don't know if it states explicitly that the coach's job is exclusively the position of head coach and any other gig would void the deal. but think about how absurd and hilarious it would be if, instead of just canning jauron, ralph wilson were to demote him. not to assistant head coach. not to defensive coordinator. straight to db coach. you kick up bobby april or do whatever the hell ralph does, and you let dick jauron look like a completely emasculated turd, calmly addressing mcgee on the sidelines to the tune of $3m a year."
Go Bills.
Stat line I enjoyed:
Derek Anderson, 2-of-17, 23 yards, 1 INT
-- That was laughably awful. Almost as awful as when the Bills trade for him this week.
Stat line I didn't enjoy:
Marshawn Lynch, 16 carries, 79 yards; six receptions, 56 yards
-- Why did I not enjoy the best offensive stat line on the team? Because it's inexcusable that they did not run more. Call it an absolutely valid knock against Alex Van Pelt.
Game ball:
The defensive line
-- Three weeks running. Don't kid yourself. I'm tempted to give it to Owens, just for giggles.
Lastly...
My job is to talk and type about sports. I get paid for it. Before I started at WGR, did I ever envision that multiple times during my career at the station, people would text and email me, apologizing for their team that I had to talk or type about them? So awful. Fire almost everyone on offense.
Next week:
It's the New York Jets. If Trent Edwards can't get himself pulled against Rex Ryan's defense, I don't know who can. This does seem like a game the Bills keep inexplicably close, but I'm ready to not be shocked. Until I see a coaching move, or something, I'm picking the Jets, though I kinda want to pull a Dirk Daniels and picking the Jets by 131 points. New York Jets 20, Buffalo 10.
Email: nick@wgr550.com
For a fan base that's seen this -- or something just as brutal -- plenty of times before, it's amazing that it continues to surprise us.
I spent Sportstalk Saturday saying there's no way the Bills could lose to the hapless Browns. This was, after all, a Cleveland team worse than they were last year, and devoid of any offensive weapons outside of Jamal Lewis. As bad as the Buffalo Bills are, I simply could not believe they'd lose at home to this 0-4 team.
But, there was something I failed to comprehend.
We have the worst team in the National Football League.
Aie, the massacre...
-- Twenty-two seconds and you dump it off to Lee Evans five yards past the line? Then, you heave the ball once you've almost crossed the line of scrimmage? Trent Edwards heard Derek Anderson demand that he could be the lowest form of quarterbacking life, and said, "Give me a shovel, and watch me dig through this garbage."
Like "Fight Club," we've found rock bottom.
-- Staying with the "Fight Club" comparison, Bills fans will feel like Raymond K. Hessel tomorrow. Their breakfast will taste better than any meal non-Bills fans have ever tasted.
-- I guess Rob Ryan knew what he was talking about when he said this about Trent Edwards last week:
"I don't think that's [Bengals quarterback] Carson Palmer back there by any stretch. Absolutely, he's not. Not too many quarterbacks are. The guy can run and do some things, but we've played Brett Favre. We've played Carson Palmer. Those are two pretty good quarterbacks right there. This guy [Edwards] always seems to have a lot to say, so I'm going to say the same thing. Let's go. Let's get it on, see what he's all about this week."
Edwards, being the polite fella he is, thought it best to prove that no man is a liar.
-- I want to say some positive things. I need to. The defense was good enough to win today, even with no linebackers and a secondary that should've been called tertiary.
-- The Bills had to have been trying to get Dick Jauron fired. There is no way professional athletes assembled onto one unit could play that bad. I'm literally sick to my stomach. It was a garbage show so poor that I was half-hoping the game would end in a 3-3 tie.
-- Dick Jauron has to be fired. Has to be. I was on his side, or at least not ready to fire him, for weeks and weeks longer than I should've. The penalties, the quarterbacking, the everything.... stinks.
-- YOU need to feel insulted right now. Not just for how bad this team is on the field, but for the canceled on-field ceremonies and the lies about them. It's one of those things where you're going to hear that the media and fans are creating lies to hurt the Bills in some sado-masochistic philosophy to make our jobs stink. Or this exists: Ralph Wilson to get Hall of Fame ring on Sunday.
-- Alex Van Pelt needs to be criticized, and will at least twice in this space, for not running the ball more, in particular with Marshawn Lynch, who moved the pile the way he usually does. Sure, Fred Jackson wasn't especially effective as the "change of pace," but if Cleveland's porous run defense was begging the Bills to rush, then Trent Edwards' brain was. Weak-minded to say the least.
-- When's the trade deadline? Is there a guard, quarterback or linebacker with two legs we could get for Roscoe Parrish?
-- Nine false starts is bad, but how many true starts did they have?
-- Terrell Owens played a heck of a ball game, and was more than polite during his post-game press conference. Dude shouldn't have to leap for every pass... and the sad part will be when analysts point to his numbers as declining talent.
-- Note to school children: steer clear of Roscoe Parrish's lawn.
-- The Bills had the ball for three more minutes than Cleveland. Guess what? It's not the no-huddle's fault, like I've been saying for weeks.
-- I sincerely believe that all NFL teams are better on the whole than even the best NCAA teams, but I think if you let the LSU defense and Texas offense take on the Bills, well, it would be a very interesting game. Interesting like finding out what would happen if you glued your hands to a ceiling fan. Interest is a funny term.
-- An in-game email from a pal named Alex:
"for your consideration:
i don't claim to know how nfl head coaching contracts are structured and worded. i don't know if it states explicitly that the coach's job is exclusively the position of head coach and any other gig would void the deal. but think about how absurd and hilarious it would be if, instead of just canning jauron, ralph wilson were to demote him. not to assistant head coach. not to defensive coordinator. straight to db coach. you kick up bobby april or do whatever the hell ralph does, and you let dick jauron look like a completely emasculated turd, calmly addressing mcgee on the sidelines to the tune of $3m a year."
Go Bills.
Stat line I enjoyed:
Derek Anderson, 2-of-17, 23 yards, 1 INT
-- That was laughably awful. Almost as awful as when the Bills trade for him this week.
Stat line I didn't enjoy:
Marshawn Lynch, 16 carries, 79 yards; six receptions, 56 yards
-- Why did I not enjoy the best offensive stat line on the team? Because it's inexcusable that they did not run more. Call it an absolutely valid knock against Alex Van Pelt.
Game ball:
The defensive line
-- Three weeks running. Don't kid yourself. I'm tempted to give it to Owens, just for giggles.
Lastly...
My job is to talk and type about sports. I get paid for it. Before I started at WGR, did I ever envision that multiple times during my career at the station, people would text and email me, apologizing for their team that I had to talk or type about them? So awful. Fire almost everyone on offense.
Next week:
It's the New York Jets. If Trent Edwards can't get himself pulled against Rex Ryan's defense, I don't know who can. This does seem like a game the Bills keep inexplicably close, but I'm ready to not be shocked. Until I see a coaching move, or something, I'm picking the Jets, though I kinda want to pull a Dirk Daniels and picking the Jets by 131 points. New York Jets 20, Buffalo 10.
Email: nick@wgr550.com
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